“Will you hold my pint for me?”
I was asked this recently at a gig by close friend, not because they had a tiny bladder, but because they wanted to get their phone out and hold it above their head as the band played their biggest anthem. On the way home I asked him why he was filming it, instead of enjoying the moment?
“I just put it on my Facebook and Instagram page.”
“So people can see what I’ve been up to.”
“But you missed one of your favourite songs. . . “
“I didn’t, I was there.”
I was there. . Mmmm.
It’s true my friend was there in body, but at the most important point of the gig his mind was elsewhere. He chose to focus on the external, on what others might think or say about his attendance at the concert. Maybe the outside world is desperate to know my friend has got a social life, maybe their lives are so devoid of enjoyment they rely on him for constant updates. . .
While we were talking it struck me how much we do in this life. We sit at home with our children, partner, or parents and we can be having a lovely time, but where are we really? Worrying about what we said to somebody, or planning a difficult conversation at work. All this relies on the idea that everybody else cares more about you than they do about themselves. Which of course is a total fallacy, as people outside of your inner circle couldn’t care less about your worries, your upcoming difficult conversation or your shaky video of a band they don’t like on your Facebook page.
How much calmer and fulfilling would our lives be if we could stay in the moment, and not create a false narrative about what other people are thinking?
As we walked away from the din of the stadium crowd, I could see my friend needed a break.
“Come on, lets pop in here for a beer.”
“Is it my round?”
“No I owe you one, I drank yours watching the band.”
If this sounds familiar drop me an email. I’d love to help you.