When I was at Drama School, I was told that the things I was being taught might sense tomorrow, next week, next year or in ten years. This comment has always stuck with me throughout my career.
Sometimes our insistence on understanding can be very detrimental, not allowing ourselves the time to develop and grow. ‘ I should know this’ or ‘why don’t I get it?’ This conveniently misses the point that to be confused is very healthy, because confusion precedes learning, and if you’re learning then you’re growing. Often our need to know or understand is due to a disconnect between our conscious and subconscious mind. Do we trust our ability to listen to information and let our subconscious filter and process this in its own time?
Life isn’t linear. What informs our decisions, thinking, or our understanding changes over time and circumstance. We think we know what we are doing , until we make a mistake. Then we chastise ourselves that ‘we should know better’ but should we? Or where we doing our best with we had in that moment? That mistake that we get angry about, actually informs and strengthens us as we learn from it and are better equipped the next time we are in that situation. Being prepared to make mistakes, or to put yourself in situations where you might not understand, is a far richer experience than staying in the bubble of only knowing what you do understand.
It has taken me a long time and a lot of mistakes to get to where I am. Some things made sense ten years ago, some things made sense last year and some things still don’t make sense.
It’s a lovely place to be.