Do you remember. .
Chalk hearts melting on a playground wall.
Ahh, Kayleigh – one my favourite songs.
It always reminds me of being at University with my friends and serenading them with my latest singing attempt. Music can do this to us, it can take us back to a place or time in our lives that has great resonance. If the song really means something to us, we can go months or even years without hearing it, and as soon as we hear the first chords the lyrics immediately come to us.
It’s a funny thing our subconcious- it has this unique ability to store information.
This information works in two ways, it can be your best friend or worst enemy.
Whenever I speak to my clients the most common fear or worry for speaking in public is forgetting the content. I always find this interesting- because what is the disconnect here? I am working with successful people who are experts in what they do, so why does an auidence looking at them change what they already know.
The answer is – it shouldn’t. . .
The disconnect happens because clients get trapped inside their head when is everybody is looking at them. They haven’t prepared for the moment just before they speak, or when they do think about it- fear kicks inn, which doesn’t feel good. So they suppress it, and in doing so block their ability to access their strengths.
This is your subconcious as your worst enemy.
Let me give you an example-
Emma rehearses her speech all week and becomes word perfect. Yet when the moment to speak comes, her mind goes blank or she stumbles after not making a mistake all week.
Did Emma know the content? Yes
Did she trust that knew it? No.
Because Emma isn’t actually worried about forgetting what she will say, she’s worried about the picture she has created. The picture is based on what forgetting looks like in front an audience, and how she perceives the audience may judge her. She gets locked in an internal battle because she doesn’t want to acknowledge her vulnerability for fear of inadequacy. So she suppress it and her true herself by just practicing more- and telling herself consciously that she will be fine. The speech arrives and her subconcious reminds her of all the neagtive thoughts and feelings she has suppressed. She desperately scrambles to remember the content but is overwhelmed by the picture she has created becoming actualised.
I’m worried I will forget my content – actually means I don’t want to look stupid.
I don’t want to look stupid is a picture you have created based on suppressing your vulnerability at doing something new.
Feeling vulnerable about doing something new is completely normal, and is where true growth lies.
So . . . .
What happens when your subconcious is your best friend?
Let me give you an example
Emma spends the days before her event, anchoring her subconcious with a confident resourceful state. Her subconcious then quietly gets to work on the all times she has felt confident. Whenever Emma feels doubt she triggers her anchor and her subconcious immeadiatley reminds her of the confident state and what she is capable of. She is still nervous, and knows she will be vulnerable but crucially she embraces this and doesnt suppress it because she trusts her subconcious will be there for her when she needs it most.
Do you remember. . .
Of course you do, and so does your subconcious.
Use it wisely.