Action Coach, Career Coach, Life Coach, Lifestyle, Performance Coach, Personal coaching, Self Help, Uncategorized

I say tomato, you say tomayto.

We often see things through the narrow prism of our own experience.  Our opinion and view of the world is of course the ‘right’ way to think, and we reinforce this belief by talking to other people with similar views to our own.  The difference we see in others can lead us to thinking our view is superior or others are not as enlightened as us. We see this a lot in politics at the moment, where the word democracy means different things to different people, depending on which side of the fence you sit on.

 So who is right – you or the other person? Leavers or remainers?  Or are we asking the wrong question? It’s very easy in life to frame our thinking and attitude around external things, the paper we read, the news we choose to listen to, the friends we surround ourselves with. How often do you hear people say “I believe in this view because it was how i was brought up”.  These are all examples of a way of thinking which takes away all our responsibility for independent thought. Can we not think for ourselves?  Sometimes It’s easy and more comforting to blame the other person or the other side rather than looking within.  However, we can’t grow and move forward if we don’t have a degree of self awareness and an ability to expand thinking outside of ‘what we know.’ The key here is this – in how many areas of our life do we limit ourselves and our opportunities because we quickly decide ‘they’re not like me’ before even putting ourselves in a position to find out?

The more we listen the more we learn, and maybe if we accept our differences and enhance our similarities our lives would be more fulfilled.

If this sounds familiar, drop me an email. I’d love to help

Action Coach, Career Coach, Hypnotherapy, Life Coach, Lifestyle, Performance Coach, Personal coaching, Self Help

Does This Make Sense?

When I was at Drama School, I was told that the things I was being taught might sense tomorrow, next week, next year or in ten years. This comment has always stuck with me throughout my career. 

 Sometimes our insistence on understanding can be very detrimental, not allowing ourselves the time to develop and grow. ‘ I should know this’ or ‘why don’t I get it?’ This conveniently misses the point that to be confused is very healthy, because confusion precedes learning, and if you’re learning then you’re growing. Often our need to know or understand is  due to a disconnect between our conscious and subconscious mind. Do we trust our ability to listen to information and let our subconscious filter and process this in its own time?

Life isn’t linear. What informs our decisions, thinking, or our understanding changes over time and circumstance. We think we know what we are doing , until we make a mistake. Then we chastise ourselves that ‘we should know better’ but should we? Or where we doing our best with we had in that moment? That mistake that we get angry about, actually informs and strengthens us as we learn from it and are better equipped the next time we are in that situation. Being prepared to make mistakes, or to put yourself in situations where you might not understand, is a far richer experience than staying in the bubble of only knowing what you do understand.

 It has taken me a long time and a lot of mistakes to get to where I am. Some things made sense ten years ago, some things made sense last year and some things still don’t make sense.

It’s a lovely place to be.

Action Coach, Career Coach, Hypnotherapy, Life Coach, Lifestyle, Performance Coach, Self Help

To do … or not to do

“If I write it down, then I’ll definitely do it.”

I have often thought this when writing my infamous to do list. It’s a wide-ranging and often dubious reminder of what I’m not doing or avoiding.

Paint fence
Power wash the drive.

Even the more basic things find a way of appearing
Post letter
Go to bank

It got to the point where I considered having a to-do list for existing
Get up
Brush Teeth

I often laughed at my inability to live without a list.

However, I began to notice the comfort of what putting things in future (without actually doing the vast majority of it) was bringing me. Why write about doing something, feel better and then do nothing? Surely the point is to take action!?

I started to go further. If I was procrastinating about the small things, what about bigger things? How much of my ambition and career focus was I putting into the mythical future? When I did sit and think about what I wanted to achieve, it sometimes felt overwhelming. The truth is there can be a disconnect between want and belief. We know what we’d like to do, but we put barriers in the way, and potential what if’s.

It’s similar to when people want to go travelling. ‘What if we get stuck?’ What if we run out of money? Probably best if I don’t go. What we miss is that the ‘what if’s’ are what makes the journey worthwhile. What we learn about ourselves and the confidence we gain are invaluable. It’s important to remember that the journey is more important than the end goal. However, the journey only begins when we take action and put ourselves in a position to fail.

I’ve stopped writing things down, and instead I’ve got a clear goal of what I want to achieve. I set a time frame and focus my energy into the small individual steps needed to get there.

Which reminds me, I need to paint the fence.

I just need to find the brush…

If this sounds familiar, drop me an email. I’d love to help you.

Action Coach, Career Coach, Hypnotherapy, Life Coach, Lifestyle, Performance Coach, Personal coaching, Self Help

Carpe Diem

Wendy has just asked me (for the third time this week) to put the lid back on the coffee. It’s vital I remember this as the coffee will dry out, which will affect the taste and the aroma. These things are important; apparently.

Quite a while ago, a friend of mine asked me to do him a favour. He was booked to do a short film but had to cancel at the last minute due to family circumstances. He asked if I would step in and take his place, as he didn’t want to let the producer down. I hesitated at first. I’d been working all week and was looking forward to a weekend off, plus it wasn’t paid and I didn’t know anybody involved. However, my friend was persuasive. He offered to pay my bus fare and buy me a beer… oh go on then.

I arrived on set and got chatting to some people huddling around a little fan heater. One of the guys there was called Brian and we hit it off straight away. I started telling him that I wanted to go into teaching or coaching to supplement my acting. He mentioned his agent had just started an acting school, and it be would worth giving him a call to see if he could offer me anything. I didn’t really think much of it, to be honest. Well actually I did – surely he would be set up already?

The day came to an end and Brian and I swapped numbers.

A couple of weeks later I was running to catch a train and I missed it. Brilliant. As I stood on the platform trying to stop my feet from going numb I got a tap on the shoulder. It was Brian. He had been at a meeting that had overrun and was on his way home. He asked if I’d called his agent about the possible job opportunity. I hadn’t and I made some excuse about being really busy. The truth was I didn’t really believe his agent would be interested. I had no experience and I felt cheeky walking in off the street.

Brian’s train arrived and we said goodbye.

On the way home I started to think about the chain of events. I had met a stranger on a job, who I got on with very well. He offered me an opportunity, but I hadn’t done anything about it. By total coincidence I met him again, and again he mentioned the opportunity.

Maybe I should give his agent a call?

The day after I called Darren, Brians agent. He asked me to come in for a meeting. I went in and we had a really good chat. He was about to do a short summer course, which he asked me to work on with him. He thought this would be ideal as it would give us a chance to have a look at each other and see if we could work together more permanently. Darren and I got on great and I finished the summer course knowing I’d made a good impression.

How many times in life do we turn opportunity down because we’re tired or busy? Or maybe we don’t believe in ourselves, or are unwilling to take a leap of faith? Luckily for me, I said yes to a friend and made a new friend who introduced me to Darren. Ten years later I still work with him.

Oh, and something else happened too  …

On the first session of the course, I met a girl who claims to this day she didn’t fancy me initially (which I think was just lies). As it turns out she did like me after all, so much so that we now have two beautiful girls together.

Her name is Wendy, and she likes her coffee with the lid on.

If this sounds familiar, drop me an email. I’d love to help you.