‘It’s how i was brought up.’
I’ve heard this line many times in my life. When we think about what defines us, we can often blame our behaviour and thoughts on things that have happened to us. A big indicator for this is our parents. The things we learn from them as we are growing up stay with us into adulthood, and if we aren’t consciously aware of what those learnings are it’s easy to fall back on old patterns and put barriers up when life throws things at us. An example would be when we feel we can’t do something or we don’t want to feel a certain way. Clients will often say to me, ‘I’d love to be able to do it, but I don’t feel confident enough.’ They will then go on to tell me various other areas of their life where they have shown great confidence!
As people we are reservoir of resources, so what are we choosing to not know about ourselves?
The things that we see as negative in ourselves are also our greatest strength. What does this mean? Well the person who is sensitive and takes things to heart, is also the same person who is very good at listening, and empathising with people. The person who is shy, is also the same person who is confident. All of us are many things to many different people. Think about how many different parts of ourselves we must utilise in a single day to make of the most it. We are who we are because of what has happened to us, not in spite of it. So the next time you want to blame a parent, sibling, or friend for your behaviour, blame them for all the good in you.
After all, it’s how you were brought up.
If this sounds familiar, then drop me an email. I’d love to help.